Although a big part of confidence is how we look, or at least how we feel we look, for confidence to remain a longterm thing, and to become part of who we are, actually takes a lot more than putting on a lovely dress and having all eyes on us when we walk into a room and feel great.
You may have heard this before, and think it’s a complete nonsense cliche, but real confidence does actually come from within.
It takes work and commitment to build and keep confidence – especially if it’s already been damaged in some way, but the good news is, that if you do the work to get that confidence, then like any job worth doing, the results are going to be well worth it.
The funny thing with confidence is how we actually think of it. We look at people who, on the surface, appear to be what we consider confident, but inside they’re at war with themselves in every possible way.
Confidence is truly one of those things that gives real meaning to the phrase “never judge a book by its cover.”
We really don’t know what someone is feeling on the inside, so remember that the next time you think someone is confident – this may well just be their way of protecting themselves, and they’ve managed to get really good at it.
With that being said, let’s look at how exactly you can build real, long lasting confidence for yourself, and how you can encourage the same in others.
Get to the root:
Our mind is so much more powerful than we ever give it credit for, and probably than we will ever know. This is especially true for the subconscious mind. You may be walking around thinking that your lack of confidence comes from something you dislike about your physical appearance, but really everything always runs deeper than that.
On the surface, these things may affect your confidence, so there’s certainly nothing wrong with taking measures, such as Diet pills for Weight Loss, or getting cosmetic dental work done if it makes you feel better, but these things will only work in combatting your confidence issues long term if you really get to the root of where it comes from.
Speaking to a therapist or other professional will be able to help you with this. You’ll likely find that if it’s something you don’t remember, it’s because it happened in your early childhood, or your subconscious mind blocked it out.
Acknowledge your accomplishments:
If you ever find it difficult or uncomfortable to accept a compliment or simply can’t seem to manage to stop putting yourself down or brushing off your accomplishments as “something anyone could do”, then you most probably have some kind of confidence issue, and really need to start being more accepting of yourself and your achievements.
Take some time and get into the habit of writing down at least 10 things daily that you’ve done in your life. It could be something really small, like giving up your seat to someone on the bus, or it could be a bigger thing, like learning a foreign language. It really doesn’t matter what you write down, you just need to get into the habit of being kinder on yourself, because if you don’t believe that you can do great things, then how can you expect others to?
Do the things that scare you:
The best way to get better at something is to keep doing it. For example, maybe you really want to be a public speaker, but you’re terrified of speaking in front of people because of a lack of confidence. Then really the best way to approach this and get the confidence you need for public speaking is to simply keep getting on that stage and speaking. Start off with smaller crowds at first and build your way up, and you’ll soon see that you gain more confidence.